Forewarning: this is an embarrassingly personal post, which is partly why I’m putting it on the paid side (and thank you, very much to those of you who underwrite these efforts). While attending a wedding reception, Lisa and I learned something about me that I suspected but didn’t fully realize the impact it had. Once I could admit what was going on, I learned to handle it, and it’s been so liberating. Perhaps some of you will see something of yourself in one of the examples and experience a similar freedom.
Just a reminder: taking the time to click “like” or leave a comment really helps Substack’s algorithm to determine who sees it. Sharing this with a friend is also much appreciated. Blessings!
I performed a small wedding a couple of months ago; the bride has a Ph.D. in psychology and specializes in pediatric OCD. The groom is a practicing, licensed counselor. Many of the guests had a background in counseling. It was a truly delightful reception, and Lisa and I found ourselves talking to one of the national authorities on adult OCD. I’ve often joked, “While I’m not clinically OCD, I live in the neighborhood right next door to it,” so Lisa decided to take the opportunity to find out how close I live to that neighborhood.
“So, when Gary has to count syllables on his fingers when he’s watching a movie or listening to a song so that he can end up on his pinkie…”
“That’s totally OCD,” the expert proclaimed. “But I can cure that.”
Lisa and the expert both laughed when I physically recoiled. I don’t want him to take away a rather soothing, well, let’s call it “ritual” instead of an obsession because that sounds healthier. So I guess I don’t live in the neighborhood right next door to OCD. Apparently, I’m a dues-paying member of the HOA of OCD.
This expert explained that the drive behind OCD is “What if?” Understanding that drive disarmed much of its power over me. I have lived my life in the shadow of “What if?” And it always assumes the worst. I remember getting a certified letter from my publisher years ago, in a form I’d never seen before, and my heart just sank. “They’re dropping me,” I said to myself, “And taking all my books out of print.”
Continue reading this blog on Substack HERE.
Leave a Reply