I’m a dirty cup.
Whatever truth God pours into me to pour out to others, the sad reality is it gets somewhat tainted because it runs through me. I’m likely to pollute that truth with my own wayward desires, prejudices, and limited thinking. My hope and constant striving is that the purity of God’s truth will overwhelm the spots of pollution that constitutes me and that, when I’m acting officially, the Holy Spirit will overpower the worst of me to showcase the best of Him. If some of the “polluted me” still seeps through, I earnestly pray that the Holy Spirit, the one true Teacher, will point that out to those listening to me or reading my words.
I just co-wrote a book about sex (Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life), even while knowing that I can’t write about sex without my own past infiltrating, or at least coloring, what I write about (which is why it helps to have a co-author who can call you out on a few things before the book goes into print). Even so, I felt the book needed to be written, and I’m pleased with what I believe God pulled out of both of us.
I don’t want to forget that I’m a dirty cup though, because I believe the most dangerous friends, writers and teachers are those who think sin is something they used to struggle with. If we don’t constantly and actively guard against our own pollution, we won’t even realize we’re passing it on.
I’ve seen this happen. One writer breaks my heart, as this person has so much good to share, but pride has all but taken over their work and is turning as many people off as it is on to the truth. Much truth is being lost because the cup it’s being poured into has gotten so dirty, in a way I think this writer doesn’t even realize.
When we viciously attack others, we should at least be humble that maybe there’s something in us that fails to grasp what they grasp. I’m humbled by Jesus’ words to Paul in Acts 26:15: “I am Jesus whom you are persecuting.” Persecuting the church is persecuting Jesus! The church needs to be challenged, and thank God for those who do so courageously when it needs to be done. But God have mercy on those who wage war against the church in a way that brings it down instead of building it up.
This truth is also why I—and I hope all of us—are willing to rethink the way we phrase things. I’ve had the chance to update and revise my own books, for which I’m so grateful. I’ve had to become comfortable with saying, “I don’t like the way I spun that; I’d put it differently today” without invalidating the entire work. Or I can agree with critiques. When Sacred Marriage first came out, a number of reviewers said it blames husbands more than wives, revealing my own sense of failure as a husband. I was likely preaching to myself in that book. That’s a fair critique, but in this case, one I’m willing to live with.
I believe in the process of fallen people pursuing perfect truth. It’s a process. We can help lift each other up, or be like those pathetic lobsters who simply pull each other down back into the bucket as one tries to climb up.
This belief explains why I don’t have to agree with everything a book says to find it helpful or to endorse it. Today, social media will rip you apart for quoting from one book even if there’s something objectionable written by that author in a different book! We will kill academia and creative thought if we can’t read, quote, and interact with people we disagree with. The underlying thinking of some on social media isn’t just that “this book is all good and that book is all bad,” which is problematic enough, but “this author is all good and that author is all bad.” That’s almost never true, but there are those who write with this attitude about themselves: “My book is the unvarnished truth and you shouldn’t read this book, that book, or this other book because there are a couple paragraphs that I think could be interpreted in a dangerous way.”
When I read my beloved Christian classics I’m reminded that pride is the greatest sin and humility is the queen of the virtues, so in all things, let’s be humble. Only the Bible gets everything completely right, but even the Bible is often interpreted in a polluted manner.
Let’s encourage each other toward the truth. Truth shouldn’t be a weapon to euthanize someone; it should be a cane that helps us walk in the midst of our illness. Sometimes we need someone to point out our limp—and that’s a good thing. But we don’t need to tackle each other just because they’re not walking with a perfect gait.
If you want a good example of this, pick up a copy of J.I. Packer’s Keep in Step with the Spirit. Notice the humble spirit with which he writes: “Some, noting the mistakes charismatic experience is said to verify, have…written off the movement as delusive and dangerous. Nor can one altogether blame them when one thinks of the euphoric conceit with which the mistaken assertions are sometimes (not always) made…I confess myself to be one among the many whom these features of the movement bother. Nonetheless, I think I see God’s touch in charismatic experience, and therefore I venture upon the second course—that of retheologizing. The reader must judge how I get on.”
While clearly stating his concerns about the charismatic movement, Packer doesn’t lambast the entire movement, and he seeks to find the good even while critiquing what he disagrees with. And he invites the reader to judge him! I would consider myself much more of a charismatic than Packer ever would, but I can still read my mentor’s words with affection and warmth because he treats those who disagree with him with honor and respect.
Some have asked me, “How can you not be a five-point Calvinist when Packer was your mentor?” and my response is, “for the same reason Packer endorsed several of my books even though I’m not a five-point Calvinist, as he was.”
I miss my mentor, and I miss the way he and his colleagues sought God’s higher truth in a spirit of courage and humility. They loved God’s truth and they loved God’s church, and they loved each other, even as they disagreed.
“Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth.” 2 Timothy 2:25
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1
Glennis Boyd says
Grace and peace to you. This teaches me much and gives me such hope. God bless you. Thank you. Glennis
Ashley W says
I just want to say thank you so much for this perspective. I have been so deeply discouraged by the arrogance that accompanies so much of our “Christian” debate these days, on both the fundamental and progressive sides. It breaks my heart to think of the Gospel being so clouded by us that people have difficulty even finding it underneath all of our misplaced vitriol and inability to have a disagreement with respect and honor. This post has put into words so much of what I find in the character of Jesus and in the New Testament teaching on how we should relate to one another. I.e., we do not compromise truth for the sake of love, but we also must not compromise love for the sake of truth. I so appreciate the thoughtfulness in your posts and your books, even when I may look at some of your views differently. Thank you for representing Jesus well in this – I pray that you would be strengthened by Him and given wisdom and sustaining grace for a fruitful ministry. These are hard and hate-filled days, but I am thankful that Jesus has shown us a better way! 🙂
Stuart Tutt says
Gary, thank you for this! I have read many writer’s posts/books and have thought to myself dang they are a little high on themselves by saying other writer’s words are incorrect. It seems to stir the pot more than calm it.
And I, like you, am a tainted vessel for the Lord to use. I use a lot of my own experiences to get a point across. I pray I never come off as prideful in my words or overstep what the Lord is trying to say through me.
Do things need to change in how we see sex in marriage? Yes, I believe it does need to. But I feel it needs to be done slowly because a lot of people have the wrong idea of what sex in marriage is engraved into their mind. It takes time for new brain pathways to develop on any subject.
Again, thank you! Now, I must go look at some of my posts to ensure the integrity of them.
Joshua Jieu says
Thanks for this article. For reminding us to remain humble.
If I am not wrong, I found this prayer in one of your book but couldn’t recall which one.
A subtle prayer on humility.
“Lord, when we are wrong, makes us willing to change. And when we are right, makes us easy to live with.”
Pray that even as we grow in the knowledge of God, and in influence, may there remains in us the humility to be open to change and take perspectives of others that may differ from our view. God bless!
Randy and Vickie says
Gary, we so appreciate your “truth in love” and your humble spirit.
Thank you!