In my book in progress, “When Christian Parents Hurt,” I spend considerable time dealing with natural parental guilt. This section adds a twist: if we’re going to blame parents 100% for their adult children’s choices, what do we do with parents who tried to demolish their children’s faith only to see their children grow up to be active worshippers and servants of the true God?
Next, we’ll take a look at Paul’s “terrible triumvirate,” the three forces going to war against our adult children’s faith. I’ve already posted part of this chapter; this is an extension, and there will be an additional one added next week. I’d appreciate any and all feedback as we address these painful but important issues.
My wife and I just love Jacob and Rachel. They are a fun couple, earnestly following God. Jacob works at a megachurch; Rachel teaches at the school. They have an adorable daughter. We bought our granddaughter’s favorite toy for their baby, a moose with jangly parts, which they named “Gary.” With a name like Gary, I’ll never have a child named after me, but I’ll take a stuffed moose!
Jacob’s dad ridiculed his faith. Jacob admits that one of the reasons he kept his faith through college was to prove his dad wrong, who told him it would wilt when he “grew up a little.” Jacob loves God, loves his family, has a great, theologically informed mind, is an excellent teacher with a passionate pastoral heart—and yet was raised by a man who tried to take away his faith rather than foster it.
Rick and Randy Bezet are brothers and pastors of two of the largest churches in America (numbers 48 and 64, respectively, in the 2022 issue of Outreach Magazine). While they grew up going to church, they say, “Our dad was running pretty aggressively away from God,” and later got a divorce. They did have a solid, earnestly prayerful grandmother, but the home they were raised in didn’t model faithfulness in either marriage or ministry—and yet they are godly men and faithful shepherds.
Again, how does this work? Why do two parents, passionately encouraging faith and training their children up in the faith, watch in frustration as their kids walk away, while a man who ridicules his son’s faith watches in frustration as his son embraces the faith? And then another man who can’t be faithful to his wife launches two sons into powerful church ministries?
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