While I believe God can use a difficult marriage to help us grow, I’ve come across couples of whom I’ve thought, “They should never have gotten married. Where was their pastor?” Premarital work is one of the most protective and vital things that a pastor can do. It shouldn’t be rushed, and it needs to be about much more than preparing for a ceremony. This post chronicles what Lisa and I do with couples, what tools we use, and our philosophy behind spending so much time with each couple. I hope that those of you involved in premarital counseling will share some of your own tools and practices in the comments section.
As pastors, our call isn’t to put on a great prelude to a party (i.e., a wedding). It’s to prepare engaged couples for marriage, a lifelong relationship. Too often, time constraints lead many of us to focus the bulk of our “preparation” on planning a ceremony.
Here’s how we can change that:
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