For a couple of generations, the notion of punishment as a necessary practice has been passe, and discipline (which is designed to treat evil and transform us rather than punish us) has been seen as the “enlightened” choice. Dr. John White, with the help of C.S. Lewis, makes the case that we need to get back to embracing and utilizing both punishment and discipline. I’d love to hear what you think. The aim of this “unpopular opinions” series is to generate some good discussion.
I grew up with the thought that God disciplines us, he doesn’t punish us, and we should have the same mindset with child-rearing. I am not a psychologist, and I am not pretending I know the best ways to discipline our children. For this post in our ongoing series of unpopular opinions, I’m going to let Dr. John White (who was a Christian psychologist before his death in 2002) state his case that punishment is a good thing. In his view, when we talk only of discipline, we’re giving in to the spirit of our age, eschewing a biblical worldview. Let me make it clear: by quoting from White’s book (Parents in Pain), I’m doing my best to state White’s case, largely without any comments of my own. I’d love to hear what all of you think in response.
“Many books have been written about child discipline both by Christians and non-Christians, but none that I know deals adequately with the issue of punishment. Discipline is generally seen as enlightened and good, punishment as old-fashioned and bad. Parents who think in terms of punishment may be labeled punitive, a term synonymous with hostile, vindictive, vengeful and cruel. Perhaps it is time we re-examined the place of punishment and exercised greater caution before jettisoning such ideas as blame and guilt. None of us wants to defend punitiveness (at least in the sense in which the word is commonly used). But punishment can be administered by patient and merciful people. It is not necessarily the invention of ‘punitive’ people nor are those who give it necessarily being cruel.”
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