Last week, we introduced the concept of approval addiction and talked about Dallas Willard’s teaching on “secrecy” to combat it. This week, we’re adding four more elements summarized by John Ortberg. If approval addiction hasn’t been an issue for you, this will be a helpful check-up. But if you’ve struggled with it, as I have, it can unlock the door to a prison that has held you for perhaps a very long time.
Last week, we talked about the curse of approval addiction, and laid out the groundwork for fighting back against it with a spiritual practice called “secrecy.” If you missed it, you should read that post first, The Curse of Approval Addiction and How to Fight It.
This week, we’re going to build on last week’s general truth to discuss four additional tools as we seek to embrace the Good Enough for God Life. If you’re new, these are excerpts from a book in progress on living out of divine affirmation. You’ll find many additional chapter excerpts in the archives.
Willard suggests a very helpful and very practical way to upload and install this attitude of living wholly unto God: obliterate all competition in your soul: “If you want to experience the flow of love as never before, the next time you are in a competitive situation, pray that the others around you will be more outstanding, more praised, and more used of God than yourself. Really pull for them and rejoice for their successes. If Christians were universally to do this for each other, the earth would soon be filled with the knowledge of God’s glory. The discipline of secrecy can lead us into this sort of wonderful experience.”[i]
Competition makes us focus on what others are doing, not on what we are doing. For example, I’d be a bit disappointed if a book of mine sold only 25,000 copies. But let’s say the next bestselling book sold only 20,000 copies. Suddenly, I’d think, “Wow! I’ve sold more books than anyone else” and my book would feel like a success. But when someone like Rick Warren or Gary Chapman sells over ten million copies, suddenly the same book feels like a failure.
It’s the same book, with the same numbers. The only difference is what other books have sold in comparison.
Apply this to your house, your marriage, your children, everything. Comparison is poisonous. When Jesus told Peter the kind of death he’d die, what did Peter say? “Well, what about John?” Jesus chastised him—that should be of no concern to you.
I know a very faithful retired lawyer who leads a weekly Bible study at a local prison. Those of us who pray with him recently rejoiced that attendance rose from ten to fifteen inmates. That’s a fifty percent increase! But how many readers of this book might feel marginalized if they teach a Bible study at their church that draws “only” fifteen people when another teacher draws fifty?
Competition kills. It distracts us from what matters and opens the door to about ten different and horrendous temptations. Secrecy purifies our motivations and renews our devotion to the only audience that matters.
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