Calling someone “needy” is a vicious insult in today’s culture. But what if we’re all needy, in ways we never understood or even wanted to admit? For me, coming to grips with my neediness was an essential step toward greater spiritual health and maturity. Denying my needs led me to the wrong prescriptions; admitting my needs pointed me to the only One who could satisfy those needs.
This is a chapter excerpt from the book in progress, “Good Enough For God, and God Is Good Enough for Me,” addressing the power of living in divine affirmation. I’ve seen a couple of books come out lately that focus on divine affirmation, so maybe there won’t be a place for this one to be published. But please, let me know what you think.
“Hear me, LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.” Psalm 86:1
If God decided to create a perfect day for people to run the Munich Marathon, He wrapped the gift remarkably on October 11, 2016. The weather was in the low 50s with a marvelously gentle sun, accompanied by low humidity and no wind, a dream day to enjoy 26.2 miles on foot.
It felt so perfect I thought I could drink a good bit less than I needed to. I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that I was on a fool’s errand to—for the first of 13 previous tries—not have to stop at a porta-potty over the course of an entire marathon. The result is that I dehydrated so badly near mile 24 that I would have committed a crime to simply wet my throat.
As my thirst became ever more desperate, I scanned spectators and wondered what would happen if I begged (in English) for a sip of water from their open bottles. Would that be too gross? But finally, about a mile before the finish line, I saw the sign “Wasser” and stumbled toward the table. I don’t know how long I spent at that table, but it still wasn’t enough. My head was screaming, “Why are you stopping so close to the finish line?” while my throat was saying, “Emergency! Emergency! Nothing matters more than water!”
That day was one of a million reminders in my life of how desperately needy I can be. Water is mostly free. It’s a part of this earth. But going a few hours without enough and I was reduced to a begging, desperate, potentially amoral being.
I used to be ashamed of this neediness. My ideal person was a strong and heroic stoic, unmoved by anything, able to deny himself whatever he needed for however long it took
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