Do you remember the biblical story of the esteemed Abiud?
No?
Well, what about Azor, Shealtiel, Zadok, or Matthan?
You haven’t heard of them either?
At this point, you might feel that you don’t know your Bible as well as you thought. But don’t worry; none of these names would be recognizable to any but the most knowledgeable of biblical scholars. These men lived between the reign of Josiah, after which Israel was exiled to Babylon, and the coming of Christ.
Matthan was the father of Jacob, who was the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, as recorded in the first chapter of Matthew. Many of the names in this list are familiar to people of faith — Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, and Solomon. But some of the names listed in Matthew Chapter 1 are stunning in their anonymity. Their inclusion is a very loud statement from God that anonymous lives matter. He, the author of Scripture, wants their names remembered.
Just think how quietly and anonymously these families lived, but for that one mention of one person’s name in Matthew. We don’t know, for instance, if Shealtiel led his family in daily devotions. We don’t know if Abiud fasted every Friday for his children’s faith. We don’t have a clue if Azor was a man of high standing, or if Matthan was happily married. We do know that by the time the line reached Jesus’ earthly caretaker named Joseph, that man listened to God, married a supernaturally pregnant woman and faithfully assumed the responsibilities of raising the Son of God. As for the others, all we know is that they lived, they died, and God used them to move history closer to the promised Messiah.
We don’t choose the epoch in which we are born. Some people are born to great fame; Esther was destined to save a nation. Some are called simply to hold a tiny place in history in preparation for the next great generation or event. God’s mission through the millennia trumps all; He is the one irreplaceable actor who truly matters. The coming of Jesus is so monumental, so colossally important, that merely holding the next place in line until everything was ready for His arrival proved to be a biblically noteworthy life. The same holds true today; our lives are significant only to the extent that they proclaim Christ’s greater significance.
What this list also tells us is that God has worked through families for all of history. Some families take up chapters, even books, of the Bible. Some shine for just a few brief verses. Some are signified by just one name in a list, and some don’t even get mentioned. But all matter to God.
The truth is, as we raise our families, we don’t know what we’re really building. Do you honestly think Shealtiel thought his life would help pave the way for the Messiah? And since Jesus tells us “many who are last will be first” (Matthew 19:30), it’s reasonable to assume that the lack of fame or notoriety on earth has absolutely nothing to do with what may be celebrated with great fanfare in heaven.
One of the lessons in all this is the importance of family faithfulness without earthly recognition. No one is clapping when you choose to pray for your child while you nurse; no one is putting your face and name In The Wall Street Journal when you study God’s Word before you start your day. ESPN isn’t reporting the score of your personal sacrifice as you go without to provide something very important to your child. No one is nominating you for a Nobel Prize for gathering the courage to confront a potentially troublesome sin in your child’s life.
2020 is filled with stories of parental heroism that will never be told. I’ve prayed for families who spent weeks beside a child lying in a hospital bed. A single mom spent money she didn’t have for a dog she didn’t need because her daughter’s therapist told her this one particular breed was really good for a young woman struggling to find a reason to live. A dad became a voracious researcher to find the best place for his daughter to receive in-patient treatment for an eating disorder (he also bought his daughter a dog by the way, not because he wanted one but because his daughter needed a loyal, twenty-four hour companion). An entire family got rid of gluten in their house when they found out that the constant rashes on two of their three children (not to mention the cramping and occasional sinus issues) could be traced to a gluten intolerance. For the record, this mom really likes her bread…
I’ve also witnessed stories of marital heroism: a young couple struggling to learn how to love each other instead of just giving up. A wife who went against her mother’s advice and took her husband back and who now is very glad she did (it was a long and excruciating road to get to where she is; you can read about her in a book that will be published about two years from now). A military couple finding creative ways to stay connected during a long deployment. A married couple with young kids who decided they weren’t just going to “accept” a ho-hum sex life anymore and spent a year bringing new delight to each other.
CNN didn’t cover a single one of these stories. The Washington Post was too busy hating on a politician to care about parental sacrifice. Hollywood had its own agendas this year, and the nuclear family was definitely not one of them.
Ah, but there is One who hassmiled over these acts of sacrifice and does the same as He witnesses your acts of service as well–One who promises to reward your faithfulness.
We may not understand where our family “fits” in history or even if anyone would notice if our family just disappeared. But that’s not up to us to decide. Because God is the Creator of life and the Designer of our world, our family’s history is a sacred history. That’s why I like to say that we don’t have to make family life sacred; it is sacred. The only question is, do we treat it as such?
This side of heaven, we can’t possibly know how significant our role is, because we can’t see the story that will follow. We don’t know what our children or grandchildren, and certainly not our great, great grandchildren, will become. All we can do is be faithful day by day with our prayers, example, sacrifice, and witness, leaving a legacy of faith and putting our place in history into the sovereign hands of God.
We can be sure you and I will not appear in any other earthly Bible, for no other earthly Bible will be written. But we can be equally sure that faithful lives will be noticed and recounted in the eternal Book of Life — when we will finally realize just how sacred our family’s faithfulness has been.
Forwarded on to me two oldest and their spouses who are in the midst of raising young kids. So spot on and a great encouragement Gary. Thanks for this and your writing in general.
Beautifully communicated. Thank you.
This message of encouragement and exhortation for families, and my family, is well received today. Yesterday, Tuesday, December 8th 2020, I received a letter from my estranged daughter who actually called me “dad.” She grew up in a ministry home and witnessed first hand godly acts of kindness, intervention, outreach, and so much more yet, missed the connection with her “dad,” me. She turned me away several years ago and has kept her distance and emotions closed-up and far away. Until yesterday. The note was certainly not cute and cuddly the way I wished we had been grow up, but it was mature, kind and thoughtful; and hopeful.
Yesterday, the same day, my wife’s son who dramatically moved out of the house and out of the state earlier this year without telling his mom called (not texted) to inform her that his girlfriend was in the hospital and had given premature birth to their 22 week old baby girl and that the baby died several minutes later. Horrible, gut wrenching phone call after many months of hurtful, unkind, bitter interactions between mother and son. Yet, he called his mother as he sat beside his girlfriend and comforted her through what is most likely the most difficult and painful experiences of her life. Why did he call his mother? Because it was the right thing to do as a son who learned how to care for his grandmother who lived out her life at home with him and his mom as a young boy. This young man learned how to love and support his girlfriend, and their daughter of only a few minutes, as a result of witnessing his own mother care for his dying grandmother, raise him without support and work fulltime.
Our story as parents of grown children will go unnoticed this year on the public stage of 2020, but after reading Gary’s blog today I am refreshed to embrace my role in the lives of my children and the role of my wife in the life of her son, and to accept my place in the history of God’s greater purpose and plan beyond me for eternity.
Well said.